stolen, but funny, none the less.....

Post #1
William L. Ross wroteon February 9, 2010 at 10:46pm
Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm the Pastor of the Centralia Church of the Emaculate Bleeding Savior in Centralia, PA and I have a message to you right direct from God's mouth to your ears.

Married Gays will not be raptured.

Revelation 1:7 CLEARLY states

"Behold, he cometh with"..."him, and"..."also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him."

That's right George Takai, because of YOU. There will be wailing because of YOU! And gnashing of teeth along with any other gnashable body part that you can imagine!

Now I'm not saying you can't be as gay as a jaybird at Christmas! Nor am I saying you'll go to hell, necessarily. However you WILL have to look down a gun barrel at the rampaging army of the Antichrist assuming Jesus lets you serve in the military. Does running half naked through a post apocalyptic waste land with nothing but your wits and a .44 calibur pistol tending to the needs of the survivors with kindness and lead depending on their actions towards their fellow man sound fun to you?

Just imagine what you have to lose. Do you really want to spend seven years in a world without any Christians? Who will remind you the reason for the season? Where will you get unsolicited child rearing tips? Who will remind you to get your adopted Chinese daughter baptized, regardless of her completely rational fear of rivers that she has for some reason. And bars will be open at the normal time on Sunday, causing more traffic on the way to church!

Beyond that, the Antichrist will destroy ALL religions. The Christians won't be the only ones gone! No more Scientologists to help you with personality profiles. No more Mormons from Mountain Meadows Memorial Temple reminding you it's Sunday. No more Unitarians doing what it is that they are known for doing.

But, I know that not all of you understand the bible, Latin is a tricky language to master, so I'll appeal to you on a far more practical level. If two men engage in non marital relations, I guess that's between you and Jesus. But in MARITAL relations, which one of your sheets do you cut the hole in? Do you cut holes in both sheets? Because then you'd need a third sheet for later, when the draft came into all those holes.

God Bless,

Will Ross
Pastor of the Centralia Church of the Emasculate Bleeding Savior
"Centralia PA, the best Pit Barbecue in Pennsylvania!"


Had to share this!

Groverat