Saturday, September 25, 2010

Top 10 reasons Florida is better than where you live.......

10. We have more old people than you. That's right, all the shrunken, wrinkly people come herfe to sit on the beach and wait for God.
9. Because of #10, we have more doctors, pharmacists, hospitals and Mercury Grand Marquis than you.
8. Dolphins are fun.
7. The weather is awesome. The average temp in the summer is just 88. That's right, Texans, 88.
6. Fresh seafood - all the time. If you don't like what you see at the market, you can catch your own.
5. We have more snakes than you. There are 47 species of snakes in Florida, more than any other state. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not, since some of them are rattlesnakes (at the beach, for fucks sake - yeah, really. rattlesnakes at the beach.)
4. I live here, and wherever I am, the best parties and coolest people are sure to follow.........but I'm not conceited or anything....
3. Palm trees - you know you want them, and we have them everywhere.
2. Ferrari. Yes, I said it. there is a Ferrari dealer 2 blocks from my house, and I pass it every day on my way to work. I want one. Or two, cuz, I'm gonna fuck up the first one pretty bad.
1. No smog. In fact, very little pollution of any kind. The wind off the gulf, the bay, and in some cases from across the state on the atlantic side, keep the air pretty clean. They don't even require state inspections here.....

No comments:

Post a Comment